Saturday, July 22, 2006

I'm mad as hell and I can't take it anymore !!

Well, another day, another bad beat, online, live poker, WSOP, it makes no difference. I'm just cursed and looks like there's not much I can do about it. I played just one round today (second day of the WSOP NLH $2K), the blinds were 800-1600 with 200 ante, since we were playing 10 handed, that means 4400 every round. Since I had around 30k, a comfortable stack but still kind of short to make moves, I needed more chips to attempt more steals, the opportunity came real fast; I was in the SB with about a 29k stack, old lady in MP raised to 5k, she had about the same stack as me and she had just lost about 10k in a pot versus the table chip leader, folded to me and I was very pleased to see KK, even I was like 1 for 3 with KK in this world series. Now, what's the move, I can just call, I can raise a little, I can make a good sized raise or I can go all in. The pot had already like 9400, already big, I didn't consider just calling an option because of the size of the pot already and I don't want the BB playing with the right odds with something like AT-AJ, so I decided to raise, now what's best; my first thought was to go all in for the 29k, this is overbet the pot, so she calls with 77-TT thinking I have AK, or she called with AJ-AQ thinking I have 88-TT. But then I thought a better option would be to raise and then bet the flop, since I think there was a good chance she folded in the flop, now, how much to raise, if I raised to something like 12k, then she had to call just 7k for a 21k pot, those are damn good odds, so I decided to raise more, but to leave her with something, I decided to raise to 17k, she needed to call 12k into the 26k pot and she would have about 12k left, of course I was not folding, it doesn't matter the flop, I raised to 17k, leaving me with about 12k, and after a while she decided to go all in with AT ???, of course I called, I had already 17k in the pot with 12k left, I was calling with anything in that spot. What was she thinking? Anyway I was glad to see her make that terrible mistake; I think she just lost it, you have to be able to think straight for so many hours in these tourneys and I guess she just couldn't take it anymore and she just went ahead and put her whole 30k with a very marginal hand and a terrible spot since with the action most probably her hand was going to be completely dominated with a big pair or with AK, I was really happy to be able to have a 65k stack that soon so I would be able to apply pressure to the table and make some of my plays, but again, this would not happen, I lost again with KK and the terrible play was rewarded once again. She had now a big stack (about twice the average) and I was left with a black 100 chip, the whole table was rooting for me in the next hand, I was all in for half the ante, but I lost it. Same scene, same pain, everybody at the table feeling bad for me, shaking my hand, telling me I was a great player and shit happens. I was out and went to receive $3731 for my efforts. I'm 1 for 4 with KK in this world series, it's about the same online, nothing changes, this year has been terrible, I'm just tired. Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know that it has been filled with badbeats; I would like to write more meaningful entries, I have always interesting hands to share, but usually my poker spirit is just broken and I just don't have the desire to write. Most good players know you just need to take your beats like a man, and I just used to do that, it was easier when you had an average luck. These days, I think I have a wall over my shoulders. I'll try to finish this world series as planned, but after that I'll need to rethink if this is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. Thankfully I have been blessed and I have always excelled at everything I do, so it would not be a problem to focus my energy in some other avenue. But let's see. I know today I'm just mad, but the thing is, I have started to entertain the idea of quitting poker and that was before today, the events today just reinforce it. Don't get me wrong, I love poker, but probably I just don't have the emotional and mental state necessary to be a poker player and I don't mean to be a successful poker player, I know I am and I will be successful (as in winning money) if I keep playing, even with all the beats, but I mean the mental state to be happy while being a professional poker player; that is what it's really important, you need to be happy with what you do for a living, it does not matter if you're successful if you're not happy. Life is way too short to spend time being unhappy. Money is good but it's not that important in the grand scheme of things. The important thing it's to live everyday with passion, to love, to be really alive and these days, sometimes I feel like a zombie. Next time I win a tourney, I'll try to write about this topic again, probably my mental state will be different then, but that's the thing, your happiness should not depend of random events, and until I really learn that, I will suffer. Hopefully I learn, but if I don't, I'll move on, no big deal. Life is just awesome.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey David,

Been following you for a while, it's clear you are having a terrible run.

I know there is no science to it, but your mental state is really not fit for poker right now.

Not sure what to suggest but getting as far away form the game is probalby the best.

When should you cosider playing again? when you can see the minor things that involved "luck" start to happen again. Could be getting that perfect parking spot, guessing the right winner in a sports event, hell try flipping a coin and start playing when you can guess right 75% of the time.

You need to get some momentum back by "willing" back your luck. I'm pretty sure you play with "It's just a matter of time before I get screwed" in the back of your mind.

I am one who tries to ride luck and get off the wagon when its not there.

Anyhow good luck, im a bit drunk so this might not all make sense.

Good Luck!
concerned reader

AJ "The Triple Threat" Martino said...

Hey David:

She's obviously a donkey luckbox. Her play was terrible, there's no way you can fold given those odds.

Usually I thought one would raise 3x her raise, that would be to 15K. Now, you have barely 30K, so that's half your stack.

So it comes down to:

1. If you push all-in, will she fold hands that may be 30% against your Kings (i.e. the A/x hands). You get to increase your stack by 30% or so in this spot, without having to win the hand.

2. If you push all-in, will she call with hands that you're an 80% or so favorite against?

3. Are you content with trying to get an increase to your stack of 30% with zero risk, or is it better to try and increase your stack by 100% and accept a risk?

I don't think you played terribly at all. You got her to commit her chips with A/10 when she certainly didn't need to. She just happened to get lucky. I was reading about a 2+2er that just busted out of a final table when his K/K was run down on the river by Erick Lindgrens A/K.

I don't know what I hate more, watching some donkey get lucky when you play well, or watching some rich poker pro who doesn't need the money as much as the "rest" of us, get lucky.

It's good that you recognize what poker is doing to you psychologically. You ARE a good, winning player. But you're putting too much emphasis on tournament poker for income. It's too volatile and the fields too large, unless you can afford to enter a gazillion 10K events, and then you can be the next Mizrachi.

Consider giving cash games or even sit n' go's some thought (your tourney skills may prove quite useful in the sng's)

But, no shame in getting away from poker to do something else. I hope you find the happiness you seek, and can make a profit doing it. :)

Rico said...

David,

I totally empathize with you. I love poker tournaments. But there is nothing more frustrating, than to know you are putting your A game forward, only to be screwed by Lady Luck.

The last 3 months have been this way for me. I can almost predict when the suckout will occur.

I was planning on buying into one of the WSOP events, but at this point, I'm passing.

Thank god for the cash games, those are pretty steady. I would suggest that maybe you try that as well.

BTW, are you playing the main event?

Anonymous said...

I had same situation final two of live tournament. A10off raised 3x I go allin and he calls and hits two more 10s, gg me.

Eduardo said...

Que dia te toco iniciar el main event...?1,2,3 o 4

Espero que tengas un buen torneo,suerte.

Piensas dar una platica aqui en el paso como me lo habias comentado o ese plan ya murio. Creo que tus experiencias con bad beats y swings ultimamente serian de mucha ayuda para un jugador amateur. Creo que la platica seria una buena opcion para ti para un break y para el poker en el paso.....espero tu respuesta.

y mucha suerte

Jordan Lewis said...

dont forget who has been paying off all ur big hands all these years its the donk that lets u win most of the time but sometimes it just wasnt meant to be

David (sirio11) said...

Thanks guys,

I feel better now, and I'll be playing in the Main Event of the WSOP, my starting day will be 1C, Sunday. Hopefully things will be different. HOPE !!!!

AJ "The Triple Threat" Martino said...

Just play like Tiffany Williamson and overvalue K/J SOOTED! If she can make it THAT far in the ME, then maybe she's got something going for her there! ;)

Anonymous said...

David,

Sorry to hear about your bad luck these days. Variance is a bitch but bad luck is worse. I just hate to hear that you are running bad. I hope you are able to ride out the bad run and come out on top again. I know you have the skill but when the cards are not breaking evenly, there is nothing you can do about it.

I think you are right; your mental state is very tenuous after all the beats. If you are going to continue with poker, you need to have thicker skin.You have to realize that you have made the right moves and your opponents the wrong ones. I actually feel okay if I didn't cash as long as I made the correct play. I know it is harder for you since you rely on poker as your income. If all the bad beats and huge variance does change the way you feel about the game, maybe it is time to hang it up. But, you are a smart guy and should understand that eventually things will break your way.

Stay the course, David. Variance does suck but the odds, not the Poker Gods, are with you.

Mack (Stipe_fan)

Anonymous said...

Everyone gets bad beat. Stop crying and deal with it. Maybe you're not cut out for this profession.

Anonymous said...

You ever think you can't win at poker because you play bad? Just a thought. Hmm Hmm.