Win small, win small, win small, lose big, rinse, repeat

I have had pretty few losing sessions this year, but usually I lost a lot when I have them. I have had many winning sessions this year (almost all of them), but usually I win just a little. I played just a few sessions on April, winning all of them, but of course, I gave all of it back with my first losing session on May, losing big playing 30-60 razz this Friday night, Saturday morning.

I know better, I know it's pretty unprofessional of me playing this way; I should play the same amount of time despite my sessions results, and maybe just play a little longer if the table conditions are about right; but despite all my years playing poker I can't. It's a bad poker habit, despite all my mathematical background, I'm still pretty session results oriented; I have made pretty little progress on this issue, maybe now when I'm stuck, I play pretty long sessions, instead of the marathonic sessions I used to play years ago and big losses today don't bother me as much as they used to and that's probably why I'm able to stop now.

Still, one of the things I would like to solve, it's to play more when I'm winning, hell, I would like to be able to play more in general. My playing time is a big, big problem. I'm just winning enough money to get by, and while I have never had any pretensions about being rich and have lots of money, not winning more money now, it's going to be an issue on the long run. It's an issue now, since I don't have the bankroll to play on the WSOP for example, and I would like to be able to do it; but it's going to be a bigger issue in the future, since I'm not saving, and I'm not that young anymore.

El universo adentro

No escribi en Marzo y Abril y vuelvo ahora empezando Mayo, no han sido buenos tiempos, los problemas de depresion y ataques de ansiedad are back with a vengeance. Dificil hablar de un tema en el cual casi nadie te entiende, quizas ni uno mismo se entiende, muchas veces tu propio cerebro conspira contra ti, vives una existencia dividida e incomprensible, lo importante es que de una o de otra forma sigues adelante; regresas al mundo, al universo afuera, interactuas, vives, aunque nunca dejes de salir del todo de ese mundo tuyo que nadie conoce, el universo adentro ........

Academy Awards 2009

This Sunday I watched the Academy Awards religiously. I really don't remember not watching it all my adult life, I love it.
Still, this time I was a little pissed because of the no nomination for Best Picture for The Dark Knight, the no nomination for The Wrestler song by Bruce Springsteen and for the little love showed for Milk and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which I consider pretty damn good films, and before some nits tell me, "little love"? TCCOBB was nominated for 13 Oscars, what are you talking about; well, I'm talking about it was pretty strange to me to read everywhere, they didn't stand a chance versus Slumdog Millionare, which while I think it's a pretty good movie, I liked TDN, Milk and TCCOBB more, and never understood the endless love for SM.

The show for me was fine, different format, not awful, not fantastic like I have read somewhere, just fine. The best moments for me were:

- Sean Penn win and speech
- Dustin Lance Black speech
- Kate Winslet speech (despite I love Meryl Streep, and it's really sad she has only 2 Oscars so far)
- Philippe Petit at stage when Man on Wire won best documentary, the guy is so awesome.

And about betting, I did pretty well, as always, I have won money on the Oscars all the times I have bet on them, I bet some on Penelope Cruz and Viola Davis, because the line for Viola was pretty good and Penelope just to assure a profit. I bet a little on Meryl Streep and lost. And I bet a lot on Sean Penn, I couldn't believe my eyes with the line for Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke, I just wish I would have bet more. I took Sean at +200, 2 to 1, are you kidding me?, it was a gift. Mickey was outstanding in The Wrestler and he's a really cool dude, but Sean Penn's Harvey Milk was just mesmerizing, amazing, not enough adjectives to describe his acting, if you have seen Dead Man Walking, Mystic River and then Milk, you know what I'm talking about. At the very least the real line should have been around even between Sean and Mickey, even I think Penn was the favorite.

All in all, a pretty good night, I have always enjoyed the show no matter what, and i think I'll always do.

A river value-bet, a check-raise bluff and a good call

I think this limit holdem hand from the 50-100 game is pretty interesting, especially the play in the river.

PokerStars Game #24784067754: Hold'em Limit ($50/$100) - 2009/02/10 7:14:58 ET
Table 'Maia IV' 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: sirio11 ($2892 in chips)
Seat 2: petknet ($3916.50 in chips)
Seat 3: eso_memory ($4750 in chips)
Seat 4: cherry1020 ($1382.50 in chips)
Seat 5: Zzeigler ($6336.50 in chips)
Seat 6: THE D0NAT0R ($13071 in chips)
eso_memory: posts small blind $25
cherry1020: posts big blind $50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to sirio11 [4h 4s]
Zzeigler: folds
THE D0NAT0R: folds
sirio11: raises $50 to $100
petknet: folds
eso_memory: folds
cherry1020: calls $50
*** FLOP *** [3c 8s 7s]
cherry1020: checks
sirio11: checks
*** TURN *** [3c 8s 7s] [Tc]
cherry1020: bets $100
sirio11: calls $100
*** RIVER *** [3c 8s 7s Tc] [8d]
cherry1020: checks
sirio11: bets $100
cherry1020: raises $100 to $200
sirio11: calls $100
*** SHOW DOWN ***
cherry1020: shows [4d Ks] (a pair of Eights)
sirio11: shows [4h 4s] (two pair, Eights and Fours)
sirio11 collected $822 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $825 | Rake $3
Board [3c 8s 7s Tc 8d]
Seat 1: sirio11 showed [4h 4s] and won ($822) with two pair, Eights and Fours
Seat 4: cherry1020 (big blind) showed [4d Ks] and lost with a pair of Eights

Let them 3 barrel, a hand from 10-20 NLH

Playing against no fear 3 barreling players, no problem, let them do it

PokerStars Game #24680985801: Hold'em No Limit ($10/$20) - 2009/02/07 5:36:29 ET
Table 'Turandot IV' 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: wayne120 ($1552.40 in chips)
Seat 2: Zelijostocko ($2291.75 in chips)
Seat 3: sirio11 ($2000 in chips)
Seat 4: ALLIN9865 ($2000 in chips)
Seat 5: jsizzle20 ($2337 in chips)
wayne120: posts small blind $10
Zelijostocko: posts big blind $20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to sirio11 [Kc Qs]
sirio11: raises $40 to $60
ALLIN9865: folds
jsizzle20: calls $60
wayne120: folds
Zelijostocko: folds
*** FLOP *** [3c 8d Kh]
sirio11: checks
jsizzle20: bets $100
sirio11: calls $100
*** TURN *** [3c 8d Kh] [As]
sirio11: checks
jsizzle20: bets $215
sirio11: calls $215
*** RIVER *** [3c 8d Kh As] [7s]
sirio11: checks
jsizzle20: bets $525
sirio11: calls $525
*** SHOW DOWN ***
jsizzle20: shows [Js Ts] (high card Ace)
sirio11: shows [Kc Qs] (a pair of Kings)
sirio11 collected $1828 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $1830 | Rake $2
Board [3c 8d Kh As 7s]
Seat 1: wayne120 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: Zelijostocko (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: sirio11 showed [Kc Qs] and won ($1828) with a pair of Kings
Seat 4: ALLIN9865 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: jsizzle20 (button) showed [Js Ts] and lost with high card Ace

I insta called the river by the way.

Time, the inexorably flowing of time

Today is my birthday, another one, and this one will also pass as all the others, as any other day does, the important thing it's I'm still here, I'm living life and I still have dreams. It does not matter how much time you have left, it's what you do with the one you have that counts. Sometimes I think I'm old, sometimes I think I'm young, but I don't know, there is something about life that make you be really appreciative, even if you're not a very religious person. I started this year more conscious of my health, I want to live a good life, spend quality time on Earth, with my loved ones, with so many people I'm yet to meet, I'm ready, life goes on and so do I. Still too many great things to do, life is good, time is a good friend ........

Some 50-100 Limit

I played yesterday 2 tourneys, a $100+9 and the warm up $200+15, I made the money in the warm up and actually I was playing pretty good, but happened to have KK at the same time some other guy had AA, I was left with very little an finished the tourney 237 out of 4180, bummer, good showing anyway, good for $836, bleh.
I couldn't sleep, so I decided to play some 30-60 and 50-100 limit holdem, I played close to 1000 hands, I was pretty stuck in the 30-60, and at some point I was losing near $3k, but I came back, lose a little on the 30-60 but won on the 50-100, for a net gain of around $500.
I felt comfortable playing 50-100, hopefully I'll play more in the future.

One hand from the 50-100, we were playing 4 handed at that moment:


PokerStars Game #24056739924: Hold'em Limit ($50/$100) - 2009/01/19 9:00:12 ET
Table 'Tros' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 2: DrArpadElo ($5397 in chips)
Seat 3: pokkermon ($5272 in chips)
Seat 4: sirio11 ($2174 in chips)
Seat 6: stormi22 ($2000 in chips)
sirio11: posts small blind $25
stormi22: posts big blind $50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to sirio11 [7c Qc]
DrArpadElo: folds
pokkermon: folds
sirio11: raises $50 to $100
pokkermon said, "gg"
DrArpadElo is sitting out
stormi22: calls $50
*** FLOP *** [6c 7s 3d]
sirio11: bets $50
stormi22: raises $50 to $100
sirio11: calls $50
*** TURN *** [6c 7s 3d] [3s]
DrArpadElo leaves the table
sirio11: checks
stormi22: bets $100
sirio11: raises $100 to $200
stormi22: calls $100
*** RIVER *** [6c 7s 3d 3s] [Jd]
sirio11: bets $100
stormi22: calls $100
*** SHOW DOWN ***
sirio11: shows [7c Qc] (two pair, Sevens and Threes)
stormi22: mucks hand
sirio11 collected $998 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $1000 | Rake $2
Board [6c 7s 3d 3s Jd]
Seat 2: DrArpadElo folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: pokkermon (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: sirio11 (small blind) showed [7c Qc] and won ($998) with two pair, Sevens and Threes
Seat 6: stormi22 (big blind) mucked [2d 7d]

Please vote for online poker !!!!!

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Vote here, it takes seconds

Does poker make you a worse person?

I made a post (Changing Paths: Experiences about leaving poker) on an internet forum about this, and wow, I received pretty good responses. Some of the are really interesting and I think I'm gonna post them here because they are good, deep and offer a pretty interesting perspective for us poker players; and I'll offer some of my thoughts in the topic.

This response from "Ice" caught my eye and opens a pretty good discussion: Do we get worse as persons playing poker?

Here is the post, I quote:

"Ive been playing for about 2.5 years and im thinking about quitting or at east taking a long break. its probably for different reasons then other posters here, TBH i just feel like poker has turned me into a worse person then i used to be. i remember when i started playing poker i was a pretty honest and genuinely nice guy(for a poker player lol) and i don't remember intentionally trying to make some other person feel bad for no reason. but recently i've just noticed that ive turned into kind of a dick at the poker table. i despise almost everybody i play against. i show people bluffs only to **** with them and make my opponents feel bad. ive noticed myself become more greedy and selfish over the last 6 months or so. u can just see what poker does too people when u play live, all the douchebags that u see at the casinos at 3AM. i mean it just cant be good for somebody to be around these types of people.

It also just makes no ****ing sense to spend your 20´s in front of a computer grinding 12 dollars an hour when i could get a job and make more then that for half the time and probably feel better about myself while doing it.

i think poker has just turned me into a really miserable person and i would be doing myself and everyone around me a favour if i quit or take a long break or something."

I certainly can feel related to a lot of things Ice mention here, I started my career as a poker player in a B&M casino, and I remember the long hours, the terrible smoke (thanks God now is banned almost anywhere from good), and the scumbags/degenerates anywhere. Despite finding online good friends and pretty nice people, most probably in general the online poker scene is no much different, super greedy people, cheaters, lairs, sociopaths, people with no morals aside from using everybody to make some bucks, I sometimes lol at the "moral codes" some poker players think they have, probably they saw the Godfather or something and pretend they have some untouchable honor and "deep" respect for the game and their peers; most of the time this is just BS, of course it's not general, hell I'm a poker player and a pretty decent human being :), and of course there are plenty more, but I agree with Ice that for those who have the scumbag gene, poker accelerates their path to scumbagland, and some who otherwise would be pretty social and nice people, poker deteriorates them. There should be a minuscule minority who poker helped them to be better human beings. And I'm not naive, I know there are plenty of professions who make people worse (in general), just pointing out mine (sadly) is one of them.
Even for us who try to avoid all these shit and are constantly fighting against it, it takes its toll, definitely. I think if you want to go pro or if you are already one, you need to take a hard look at this and answer yourself if you like such environment, if you are not bother by it or if you can be one of the uncorruptibles.

New Year, Same Job? and you're never too old to live.

2009 is here, and one of the biggest decisions I need to make, it's if I want to continue without a "real job". I'm going to enter my 13th year playing poker, with some breaks from playing here and there, specially when I finished my masters degree at the beginning of the 2000's. There have been really good times, "the golden age of online poker", but as today, at least for us here living in the States the games are tougher every day. I left teaching at UTEP like 3 years ago, but I wonder if it's time to come back to teach at the college level, to look for a new path of make a living, be a movie critic or something, even to go back to school and pursue a PhD. Even if I do something different, I would still be playing some poker part time, hell, I have been playing poker part time (no time? hah) for a long time now; one of the funny things it's that I used to play plenty more when I had my full time lecturer job at UTEP, for some reason, having more free time, made me play less. Then I was very good in my job as a professor and I was very good playing poker, but I have to admit I was usually pretty tired since I used to do also some other projects like the Math Olympiad (still do), the Abel project (dead now), the UACJ (still going). The free time on my last 3 years have allowed me to spend a lot of time with my family, travel a lot, and that's priceless. My kids now are almost 6 and 4 and we have also another decision to make with them, homeschooling them or not?, and obviously since we need time to do that the 2 decisions are connected, Diana has also her own plans about what would she like to do and whatever we decide, our life is most probably going to change. Should we move from El Paso? If so, where? Should we come back to school? Diana for her masters, and me for a PhD or maybe even a masters in a very different area, Am I too old for that? Nah, the last question is easy, you're never too old to live. YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LIVE, don't ever forget that.